The sick one isn't always the one who's not well.

For instance, the sick one could be the one who is dirty, horny or unwell.

I think the 2-year-old fatness is sick, he woke up around half hour ago and hasn't stopped crying since. Yes, we tried the food and candy tricks, none worked. Tried putting him back to sleep too, that didn't work either. Now they're putting that temperature thing inside his ears, he clearly doesn't like it, but it's all for the good.

Being at home is thee most boring place to be. Yes, i do have my friends, the xbox, and the ps3, but they're getting boring too. I want to watch the last samurai but i forgot to borrow it from Hairol the other day. I'm not so friendly with the TV now either, everytime i switch it on it's the same programme's over and over again. The most exciting things on TV at the moment tend to be on channel 613, the channel can be quite educational. While flicking through one day, take a stop there.

Hopefully, i'll be getting out of the house tomorrow, my mom wants to go to my cousin's house to help with the baking and stuff seen as they're having open house on Friday. Friday's that haji thingy right? Yeah, i suppose it'll be that unlimited supply of pulut, lemang and rendang. Although they did say they'd be having a barbeque too. Should be fun-ish.

My mom made a nice curry tonight, it actually tasted like curry, there were no complaints from my dad which for your info is extremely rare. And it was kinda spicy, kudos to mother john.

I'll repost soon-ish, within the week. Maybe earlier if i get bugged by the FatFingered one. Maybe.

Ciao.

Eh, is 'ciao' spanish? If it is, why the hell do we use it in Malaysia?

Anyways, soon.

-Nazli.

YaaaHooooHooooooo!!

I love the way that guy shouts yahoo at the end of the yahoo advert, he sounds like a real idiot. :D

I went to the curve today. I went to tesco today. I ate fish and chips today. Today was.. mmh, as sara says. Now i know why you use "mmh", it's because you can't think of any other word to use, and at that moment in time, that's the word that suits what you're describing best. I'm sorry if none of you understand what i'm talking about.

Fuuck, i hate it when my dad shouts. Always shouting for his personal kuli's, that 10-year-old annoying annoyance, and that 2-year-old fat kid. Eventhough all he can do is get apples, seen as they're kept in the bottom drawer.

Oh yeah, watched the premier viewing of planet 51 last night. With Vinoth. Seen as his 'date' couldn't make it. The movie was good, funny-ish. I'm gonna do one of those rating things that hairol does, i'd give it a five. It was good, but boring. Or maybe i was just tired.

Aaaannyways, Yen Yi, congraturlations on having a new brother. I hope he's healthy and as adorably cute as yourself, or even adorably cuter. Tell him i said hi. :)

Ok, that's enough for today, i can't think of anything else to write.

-The Fatfaced Billybob.

For the mother of all John's.

It's been ages since my last post, i promised the fatfingered one a post every week, but i posted twice the week before so i thought it'd make me able to take a break for a week. I know most of you can't even take a break for a day. You no life.. People.


This past week, i've done nothing, nothing that i can remember anyways. I went to school on Tuesday and Friday, on the other days, i think i went out with my mom. Friday was good, prefects and librarians night.

I cut my little finger open on a can of baked beans. The can was really hard to open so i bashed it a few times then tried opening it, bending the opener thingy back and forth to loosen it. Didn't work, in the end i just pulled with everything i had, cut my little finger and found a baked bean on my chin. I have a cool plaster though, some army type thingy. hehe.

Was supposed to go to the gym today. Unfortunately, Hairol had another date with his parents, this time at the pavillion, probably watching another movie to rate and blog about. I haven't been out with anyone for ages. Well, except for my parents, but still. Let's go out, the whole gang, sometime next week. Pleeeaaase. Hairol, make arrangements, you're good at that.

Until next time.

-BillyBob FatFace.

Girls mean problems.

This title could not be clearer. Right?

Went to the AAR concert last night. Was good, got elbowed in the face. Tyson is one horny gay.

I'm finally back home after staying at Nakheel's house for a few days, i'm sooo glad to be home. I can finally sleep, not having to wake up at nine every morning to eat breakfast. Ahhh, shit. Tomorrow's school, final exams. Don't really see the point in doing mandarin, art and civic's but oh well.

I'm so damn tired. Haven't spoken to the FatFingered one all day, well, just now on facebook and myspace she commented a little. That was about it. Apparently i'm hated and no one likes me. Lovely. Sigh. I feel so accomplished for some reason.

I want to go somewhere. Let's go somewhere, and do what you said you wanted to do. Please.

-Nazri.

P.S. Hairol, no dirty thoughts on the last few sentences please.

Three paragraph's for the sake of urine.

Went to school today. Got there late, did absolutely nothing. Ohohoh, i touched Pn. Siti's stomach, it was hard and you could feel vibrations from the baby. Very cool stuff. I touched En. Rosli's beard, it was nice. I dropped an egg, then my hand smelt like rotten egg for a while, until i found washing up liquid to wash my hands with.

I don't have a clue why anyone would want to hold their pee, and torture themselves trying to fight against their bladder. If you're reading, which you probably are, next time, do not wait for your bladder to almost blow. Go and pee straight away. Your bladder is there to hold your pee, not to be tortured, imagine how it must feel, inside there, waiting for you to release your urine.

Now, go and pee,
Sara, the fat, little babee,
Nanti bladder kau matee,
Lepas tu, aku tiada simpatee,
Bodoh.

And now you're making things slower by kacauing me while i'm writing this. You shouldn't be doing this, you should've made it easier for me, you and your bladder and gone to pee around two hours ago. If you don't go and pee now. I'll.. think of something to do to you.

There, three paragraph's that made complete sense. Go and pee, love.

-Nazri the caring boyfriend.

Gay lesbian's.

I wonder what a gay lesbian would look like.

Anyway's, it's been quite long since i last blogged, well, for me it's not been very long, but for those of you with no lives and who love to type about yourselves, it's been quite long i suppose.

Might go to school tomorrow, Vinoth just asked me, not sure if i want to go though. Learning, sitting there, listening to shamsul try to be funny. Sighh. I don't feel like taking the pain. And i have duty tomorrow. But, i'll probably go, sitting at home doing nothing is getting on my nerves too.

Liverpool v Man U tonight. I hope Liverpool lose so i can get on Fatfingers' nerves. Heheh.

I want to go out. I want to, but it's hard. Seen as i live in a jungle and i have to walk aroung 3 or 4 kilometres to the nearest train station. And then wait for the train, then wait for the bus, then take a taxi. All in one day. Sigh. I'll do it one day. ;)

Ok, i'm done. I have nothing else to say.

Blogging makes my mind blank, whenever i blog, i forget what to write about. This is gay.

-NAAK

P.S. Soon, sexy, soon.

barah kaki.

Foot cancer in English.
Is gay. And is usually located on the foot. If you get it, you're most likely going to have your foot amputated. So, stay away from Barnacles.

I really have nothing to talk about. Buuut, I'm a great boyfriend so i'll extend this blog.

Since PMR has ended, i've been to an indian temple, eaten alot of indian food, been to curve and ou a few times, driven a manual car, experienced mostly every type of public transport in Malaysia in one day, except for that bicycle thingy, and been bitten on the ear.

I really don't know what to blog about, when i have something, i'll blog it. Until then.. Adios amigos.

-Mr. Fatface

P.S. I like annoying music.

Go.

I am blogging.

All for you, sayang.

Tell me this.

How many of you have a girlfriend or boyfriend that has the following characteristics?

Tells you that she/he doesn't like you. Daily.
Tells you to F Off on a daily basis.
Calls you a Fat F-er.
Tries to make you jealous on purpose, just to really get on your nerves.
Tortures you happily.
And many more things that i can't think of right now.

I bet none of you, right?
Hehe, i feel sorry for all of you, you all must be so boring.

Aaaaanyways, i was said to have abandoned the fat one for my xbox today. Which is a complete lie. I did not abandon you for my xbox. You la. Halau-er.

PMR has been o-the-k so far. I think. Buuuut let's not talk about that.

My brother woke up just now and was in one of his super pms moods. Seriously. He came out of the room, screaming, crying, following my mom like a cat's tail follows a cat.. If the cat has a tail that is. Then, just as he was at the climax of the situation. In other words, my mom was gonna give him some chocolate, which is something she never does unless he's good or he has days like today. As i was saying, then, my dad came into the house with KFC. Put the KFC on the table, took out those cheesy wedges thingys and called my brother. Along came my brother, screaming and crying. He caught a single glimpse of the wedges and immediately stopped crying, climbed up on the chair, and ate the food. A great tip for all of you, if you have a smaller brother, sister, cousin or whatever who is around the age of 1 or 2 and won't stop crying. Give the little bugger food. Guaranteed he or she will stop crying. Within seconds.

The Fat one is rushing me, so i suppose i'll end here.

Allforyou,

-Nazri.

Freedom is arriving..

.. in nineteen days. :D

I don't know about you, but in nineteen days, depending on my fathers mood, i'll be free.
Free from everything, free from parental guidance, free from my bitch of a sister, and that two year old.. thing.

Weeee. I can't wait. And all of you bitches that still have to go to school after PMR can give blowjobs. Unless you're Islam because i found out a few days ago that blowjobbing is haram in Islam. Hairol, don't kill yourself, just find an indian wife. Or a malay that is not malay malay.

Came back from Langkawi yesterday, twas ok, i suppose. I didn't have to eat rendang and lemang and that thing, what's it called? That yellow thing. Aah.. i hate it when this happens. Err.. *20 seconds later. It sounds like lumut... Aah, newer mine. Yeah, i didn't have to eat any of that crap for five days in a row, so that was good.

Hope you all had a great raya, unless you're chinese and you're celebrating that mooncake thingy. Happy mooncake thingy to all of you. And if you're an indian, i'm sorry, i don't know what you celebrate at the moment. So, happy tempura. :) Hehe.

I've been wondering and thinking how the fuck i'm going to get 5A's when i only have thirteen more days to study around thirty chapters for every subject. That's 180 chapters, excluding English and BM. Sighh.

Shit, now, thinking about that, i think i'm gonna go and study. Maybe see you people next week, don't know if i'm going to school or not yet.

-Billybob Fatface.

Tu vas me manquer beaucoup. Rêve de moi lorsque je ne suis pas ici.

Didn't go to school today. Woke up late and was feeling sick from that monstrous amount of food i ate last night. Went to buka puasa at KLCC. You'll never know what i ate and how much i ate.

Damn la, i wish i went to school. Being at home i'm under the pressure of having to study all day. I don't liiike. I'm having to watch my brother and sister eat. This is killing meeee. FatFingers, come and save me, please. Use the teleporter, should be charged by now. ;)

Going to Penang Friday morning, then onto langkawi on sunday. Cant wait. FatFingers, im scared they dont sell appletiser in langkawi, so im gonna buy it tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. If they dont have it, then i'll use a kickapoo bottle. :). The things i do for you.

I just want to say good luck to all PMR candidates this year. Don't be too stressed about everything, it'll all be over soon. Just study and everyone try their very best.

And sayang, i want to wish you the best of luck studying next week, i know you'll try your best and in the end, it'll all be worth it. If anything is wrong next week or anything like that, don't hesitate to call me, whatever time or whenever, just call.

missingyoualready,

Billybob Fatface.

P.S. please come to school tomorrow love, i'm not here on friday.

That freckin question.

Is soooooo damn gay.
Right now, if i could kill anything, it would be that question.
I wouldn't kill it nicely.
I'd make it suffer.
I'd cut it up, word by word, letter by letter.
I'd mold it into something else.
Something so irresistable and unaddictive.
Ohmygod, i am so angry.
If you could see me now.
Im not telling any of you what that question is.
But if someone ever asks you it, DO NOT hesitate.
And MAKE SURE the person who asks you that question knows you answered.
If not. YOU are fucking screwed. Trust me.

I SWEAR from the bottom of my heart, that i answered that question.
I might have hesitated the first time, but at least you don't get "no", everytime you ask me.

-Nazri.

P.S. iansweredstraightawayasfastasmyfingerscouldmoveipromise.

HotSocks.

The shop that sells these socks is officially on my gay list. I'm annoyed with the socks too, not being there when I went to buy them. But I have to admit, they are some hot freckin socks. Right, Love?

I went out today, technically, it's yesterday, but it's today to me. So, today, I went to ou. It was quite the boring, but it was mildly fun at the same time.

Got there, looked at people, walked around, buka puasa at nandos, watched michael on tv, bought shoes for my brother, gave my phone to the apple man and told me there's no chance in hell i'm gonna fix it. He's gay too. Actually, thinking about it, the guy could actually be gay. He had the gay lisp and everything. Hah, i met a gay guy today. And i looked for those hot freckin socks.

I looked everywhere, old wing, new wing, every freckin wing. I couldn't find one shop that had them. I didn't want to tell her i was getting them cos i wanted it to be a surprise. In the end i told her and at the very last minute, i told my dad i lost my headphones and ran to the shop as fast as i could. I got to the shop and asked the woman whether they had the socks or not, she said no.

The devistation overcame me for about ten minutes.

That was the bummer of the week.

And, Happy Anniversary to you too love.

Eventhough I already wished you, I had to wish again. :)

foryou,

-Nazri.

One little hooligan.

My brother.

My brother slept in my bed for once last night. I was so scared i would roll on him or he would fall off the bed during the night. Between my bed and the wall, there's a gap, not a big gap but it's just enough for my brother to fit in. I thought i'd put him there but.. hmm. Looking at him sleeping got me thinking..

During the day he is the most annoying, unattentive, energetic, ignoring, most playful little weener. But when he's asleep it's like he's a resting angel, he's so quiet, i was scared to even go to the toilet because i thought i might wake him up. I woke up a few times last night, making sure the duvet was on him properly so he wouldn't get cold. Haha, when i fell asleep, his head was next to mine. When i woke up, his feet were in my face. I dont have a clue what he does during the night, twirling around or what.

He really surprised me the other night though. He never ever speaks to anyone on the phone, ever. Not even with me or my mum or anyone. That night, I was speaking to FatFingers on the phone and i said for him to speak to her, so, i give him the phone and seconds later, he starts saying something like, "azabazaa, something, something, something." I was so shocked and couldn't believe it. FatFingers, you are truly one lucky woman.

When he's awake, he could give you rages of anger, he's like the baby devil of.. something. He'd never sit still at all, well, except for when he's eating but still. When he's asleep, on the other hand, he's like a resting angel that couldn't hurt a fly. I mean, just look at him..

It took me 13 pictures to get him to look at me while smiling.
The thing's i do for you.

I was lucky to get this one too, he only does it around twenty minutes a day.
The things I do for you.

Doneforyouagain,

-FatToes.

Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.

My new favourite song.
How could anyone not like it, i mean, just look at the lyrics. So fascinating and wonderful.
Ahhh.

Sugar, spice, and everything nice
These were the ingredients chosen
To create the perfect little girls
But Professor Utonium accidentally
Added an extra ingredients to the concoction--
Chemical X
Thus, The Powerpuff Girls were born
Using their ultra-super powers
Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup
Have dedicated their lives to fighting crime
And the forces of evil

Wooooo!!!

doingthisforyou,

-Nazri.

Missing..

She's gone, two or three hundred kilometers away. She should be back tomorrow. She wanted to come back today.

I didn't know how to tell her how much I missed her, especially after she wrote my essay.

I stayed awake with her all night, well not all night, just till around four. I felt so sorry for her, she was alone. Her cousin went galavanting somewhere with her boyfriend. I was tired but I couldn't put the phone down.

Eventually, she told me to go. I really didn't want to but I was falling asleep talking to her on the phone. I asked her to promise she would try and go to sleep. She said she couldn't so she stayed awake. While she was awake, she wrote my essay. It was so.. I can't think of the word but it was touching. I didn't know what to say the next time I spoke to her, I didn't know how to tell her I missed her so much. I've been thinking and I thought I'd write an essay for her too.

This past week, I've really missed you. I can't tell you how much but..

I miss the way you look out the window in school, thinking about something. Everytime I see you doing that, I look at your face wondering anxiously what you're thinking about, hoping it's me.

I miss the way you look at me when i've just entered the classroom, when i'm figuring out what your mood is. I remember a few; If you look away after a bit, that means something's wrong. If you keep eye contact, walk towards me and poke me in the stomach, it means nothing's wrong. And if you keep eye contact for a long time, all I have to do is nod, if that doesn't work, something's wrong.

I miss the way you get angry at Ben, especailly when he gives you the scared look and then after ten seconds, you feel sorry for him. I miss the way you get angry Hairol and never give in to him. It's like you're immune to him already. I really miss the way you get angry at me and say your not gonna speak to me, 20 seconds later, you would've forgotten about it or just couldn't take the pain of not being able to speak to me. Haha.

I miss the way you laugh when Muthu says something funny or Desmond beats up Ben. I miss the way you reply to Jonathan when he says your name so delicately and softly, "What?!".

Sara, I miss so much more about you, but, mainly, I really miss you. Come back soon, please.

-Nazri.

The virgin.

Haih. Here goes. It all started off last night at Fikri's house.

I was on the phone to the virgin, using skype. She said she wanted to speak to Fikri about something in the other room. So, i was like, ok then.

Fikri came back into the room and then said he didn't want to tell me what she said. He said she should tell me. Obviously, i was getting worried and kept on asking her and asking her what it was. She, as usual, kept on refusing to tell me. I was getting really anxious and i didn't know how to make her tell me, i was out of ideas. Suddenly, she says, Fikri can tell me. Fikri takes the phone and checks that its alright to tell me. She says yes. Just at my moment of extremely high anxiety. Fikri says to me, 'xde papela, tipu je.. Hahahaha.' The babi's.

I thought to myself and warned her that I was going to get her back. And trust me, I did.

Around an hour later, Fikri was playing with the BB gun. Muahahah.

Me: Ahhh, shit! ahh, wait Sara, speak to Fikri. *Pretending to be severe pain.
Fikri: Wei, ok ah doe? *Pretending to be worried.
Me: Wei, don't la, wei, not again.. Ahhhhhh, shit. *Pretending again.
Sara: Nazri?? What, what happened? *worried.

Fikri takes the phone..

Fikri: Sara, dia buat muka macam nak nangis. *Pretending to be worried.
Sara: Something like, 'don't lie'.
Fikri: Serious ah doe.. Dia dah nak nangis. *worried voice.

Gives me back the phone..

Sara: Nazri? *worried.
Me: Sara, wait, ahh, can I speak to you a bit later? *Pretending to be in pain.
Sara: Err.. ok. Yeah, sure. *worried.
Me: Haahahaha. I got you back.
Sara: I'm not speaking to you, ever again.

Today..

8:29.

Waiting for the FatFingered one. Everytime someone entered the class, my heart would like skip a beat. Everytime, i hoped it was her. Finally she came in hiding behind Nil, my heart was beating like shit and she gave me like a blank smile as if to say, i am still angry at you, im not giving in that fast. Right now, she's on her own sitting there so after i've written this, i'm gonna go over there. I'm gonna go now, wish me luck.

8:51.

Came to extra class early for once. Almost fainted as i saw Ben. I feel as if i dont know what to do. Mimie came and Hairol was happy. Was a little relieved when i saw Raimi come in, she was the first out of all of them to arrive. Stayed at Fikri's last night. Downloaded skype onto my phone, talked to Sara on skype. She was really quiet for some reason, she's still quiet now. Wish she would tell me what's wrong. School finishes earlier today. Dreading English, forgot to bring my work book. Pn. Yee talking the usual, talking about shit. Don't feel like doing any work today. No mood after i've seen Sara's mood. I feel as if i start to get emo when she's emo, shouldn't be like that. I'm gonna try and cheer her up, the thing is, i don't know what to say. Sigh. Today's started off really bad, hope it get's better. She's now going to sleep, i think she's either tired or pmsing or something. Sigh again. Now i feel tired, i cant think of anything to say to her, i'm blank, i don't know what to say, i can tell she's fed up of the small talk. I'm gonna go now. Pn. Yee asked what was wrong, i lied. I think it worked, i told her i had a headache. Sara's response was better, 'What?!'. Haha, it was if she was talking to Jonathan or something. I'm gonna cheer her up now.

I think it worked a little, she softened up to me at break and during english.

Hahahah, that reminds me. Ben.

Ben asked me about this question we were doing in english, something to do with sun rays, the question was like,

__________________________________ H______ Sun, something.
It was a five letter word, so i said, horny sun. Suddenly, a load of NOSE SHIT hurled out of his nose and he quickly covered it up. It was disgusting, but funny.

Sorry to those who were bored with this post. It was a little long. The virgin likes long posts so she'll probably enjoy this one.

Go study.

-Nazri.

P.S. imsorry, shortone.

Toes, Fish and Cancer.

Maaan, It's been two days straight I've woken up at midday. I know. Today was reasonable, I spoke to Sara until the early hours of the morning, but yesterday was just crazy. I went to sleep at 10:00 and woke up at 11:40 the next morning. 13 hours of sleep, I don't have a clue how I did it but I just did.

Puasa has started and for some reason it was easy, yes, there were times when i felt hungry, and went into the fridge looking for food. I'm so forgetful, i went in the fridge and looked for a drink, found apple juice :). Started pouring it into a mug and then my mum comes into the kitchen and says,

Mum: What are you doing?

Me: Getting a drink. *so confident.

Mum: But I thought you were supposed to be fasting?

Me: No. What are you talking about? *with confidence again.

Mum: Owh. Never mind.

There I was, happily pouring out the apple juice and then putting it back inside the fridge. Luckily, just as I was about to enjoy a fresh mug of apple juice, it hit me. I was in extreme devistation, I remembered puasa had started. Haih.

Most of you are probably wondering why the hell I chose Toes, Fish and Cancer as my title. Let's just say it was inspired by someone else.

I think my brother really likes to take the piss. Yesterday, i'd just woken up and then my brother comes looking for me and starts offering me toast, he offers me some strawberry drink thing then he offers me sausages. Haih, he's a clever little f*er, I couldn't take it anymore so I went inside my room and tried to study. That didn't work, trust me.

Im gonna go study now, at least until Sara get's back.

I'm off, happy puasaing for the second time.

-Nazri.

P.S. mevolivtu.   

3rd time lucky.

I saw a girl, Her name was _ra. 

She gave a twirl, In a pretty tiara. 

I saw her face, In a weird place, 

Then she started, to tie her shoe lace. 

I got to kMow her, Then i started to show her. 

I gave her a name, Twas a little lame. 

She's abnormally short, And a different sort. 

FatFingers, FatFingers, With cacat telingers. 

I did this for you, After i came back from the loo. 

I hope i cheered you up hun, Now that my profile's more fun.

For the FatFingered one.

-Nazri.

Finally.

Finally, i found somewhere where i could finally make a second post. :). Fikri's house is like my cybercafe at the moment.

My fucking internet la. Usually i could go and just reset the modem but a couple of days ago, the internet was bitching. Fat fingers' phone was bitching too and so was the fridge. No freckin food, whatsoever. Oh, but there were a few prunes. I think it was just signs from god telling me to go study. I still didn't. :(

My dum-bass brother thought he'd try one of my dad's tablets today. He takes these multi-vitamin tablets every morning that look just like my dad's. He must be a stressed little baby, wanting to committ-suicide at the age of one. I must say, he's a bright little bugger, he already knows how to overdose.

Don't worry, he's running a marathon with my mum chasing after him in the hospital right now, according to my dad.

OK. FatFingers, i'm gonna make a perjanjian. Everynight, around 10:30, i will ring you. We'll call it perjanjian 10:30. :D. I will try my very best not to go to sleep before that time and if i do, i will try my very best to update you beforehand. If i am not free around 10:30 that night. I will call you and we can arrange for a better, more suitable time. Now, it's your turn to agree to the perjanjian. :D

-N.

P.S. FatFingers, we wil start the perjanjian tomorrow, what with my brother's suicidal attempt n all. :D.

Nazli Attam

I, Nazri Adam Of Abdul Kassim, finally, got up off my lazy ass and made a blog.

I, am a mixture. A mixture of nasi lemak and fish and chips, Asia and Europe, Malaysia and England. According to some cacat thing in school, I weigh 80 kilos and I stand 174 cm. My hair looks like a mop, my face is like a realm of scars and my toes, are fat.

I live opposite a jungle and on the third flight of a 10-year-old apartmaent. Fabriciana Apartments, in fact. I have a bunch of weirdos as a family, my dad, looks like a gangster, but in truth, he's a big softy at heart. My mother is always stressed. You might as well just call her stress. I mean, Stress with a capital S. My sister, is a 10-year-old annoying annoyance. All I do is fight with her. She can be a boxer. And finally, the latest addition to the Kassim household, my little brother, Shariff Adam. This one is a little hooligan. All he does is run into mirrors, run again, and fall. And on the odd occasion, he'd tap me on the back.

I go to an extremely green Petronas school. It's called Sekolah Sri Bestari. Somewhere in Malaysia. I'm in form 3, just about to take the unawaited Penilaian Menengah Rendah. Sigh. I'm in a class full of complete retards, the first one that comes to my mind is a dark, short, fat-fingered retard. The second is a ginormous giant, we call him Benjmimer, who has actually made me think differently about him recently. Another one is a guy we call Charcoal. I think it's mostly because of the skin. Oh and we've also got, like, the horniest fucker you could ever find in Malaysia. He loves orange tic tacs and disgusting food like okra. There's a girl who loves pink, and not many people like her. There's another girl who loves Oreos and many people like her. They don't like each other, for some odd reason. I don't know if you can figure out why.

There's a bunch of Malays. The Tudungs. One of them is not so Malay Malay, but still, we call her a Tudung. And she gives great advise. There's a whole lot of people in our class. All weirdos. We have a chicken, a pig and a fish. We've got a whole bunch of Lala people, guys and girls. And get this. One of them's 18! And shouts like someone who's just about to give birth. But she's adorable. We like her. Well almost all of we. One of the great weirdos is called Yih Wern, and makes funny noises all the time. We have a quiet small, 8-year-old-like boy at the back of the class. But he's cute. But seriously. He's like 8. There's another quiet, tall Malay girl that sits next to that pink retard. She's a cheerleader. Also, we've got two machines in our class, that like to eat books. They're also prefects. There's another prefect, but he's not a machine. Ooi Hooi Wooi. His complexion is great.

And we also lost one of the greatest participants of The Retards. She's really yellow, Korean, and likes calling everyone "bitch". She gave me a name. It wasn't a great name, but I can deal with it. Everytime she sees me... "Hey! Snow White!" She's gone. But never forgotten. I miss you, Yurika.

Oh, there's one more thing about one of the Retards in my class. She's short, dark, fat fingered and she's someone who has become really important in my life recently. I don't think i could ever do anything to hurt her, except for when she wants me to flick her. For some unknown reason, she likes it. And i think i might have fallen in love with her.

I don't think there's anything else to tell anyone.
Enjoy.

- Fat Toes.

P.S. Fat fingers, you owe me, last night doesn't count. Muahahaha.