Nazli Attam

I, Nazri Adam Of Abdul Kassim, finally, got up off my lazy ass and made a blog.

I, am a mixture. A mixture of nasi lemak and fish and chips, Asia and Europe, Malaysia and England. According to some cacat thing in school, I weigh 80 kilos and I stand 174 cm. My hair looks like a mop, my face is like a realm of scars and my toes, are fat.

I live opposite a jungle and on the third flight of a 10-year-old apartmaent. Fabriciana Apartments, in fact. I have a bunch of weirdos as a family, my dad, looks like a gangster, but in truth, he's a big softy at heart. My mother is always stressed. You might as well just call her stress. I mean, Stress with a capital S. My sister, is a 10-year-old annoying annoyance. All I do is fight with her. She can be a boxer. And finally, the latest addition to the Kassim household, my little brother, Shariff Adam. This one is a little hooligan. All he does is run into mirrors, run again, and fall. And on the odd occasion, he'd tap me on the back.

I go to an extremely green Petronas school. It's called Sekolah Sri Bestari. Somewhere in Malaysia. I'm in form 3, just about to take the unawaited Penilaian Menengah Rendah. Sigh. I'm in a class full of complete retards, the first one that comes to my mind is a dark, short, fat-fingered retard. The second is a ginormous giant, we call him Benjmimer, who has actually made me think differently about him recently. Another one is a guy we call Charcoal. I think it's mostly because of the skin. Oh and we've also got, like, the horniest fucker you could ever find in Malaysia. He loves orange tic tacs and disgusting food like okra. There's a girl who loves pink, and not many people like her. There's another girl who loves Oreos and many people like her. They don't like each other, for some odd reason. I don't know if you can figure out why.

There's a bunch of Malays. The Tudungs. One of them is not so Malay Malay, but still, we call her a Tudung. And she gives great advise. There's a whole lot of people in our class. All weirdos. We have a chicken, a pig and a fish. We've got a whole bunch of Lala people, guys and girls. And get this. One of them's 18! And shouts like someone who's just about to give birth. But she's adorable. We like her. Well almost all of we. One of the great weirdos is called Yih Wern, and makes funny noises all the time. We have a quiet small, 8-year-old-like boy at the back of the class. But he's cute. But seriously. He's like 8. There's another quiet, tall Malay girl that sits next to that pink retard. She's a cheerleader. Also, we've got two machines in our class, that like to eat books. They're also prefects. There's another prefect, but he's not a machine. Ooi Hooi Wooi. His complexion is great.

And we also lost one of the greatest participants of The Retards. She's really yellow, Korean, and likes calling everyone "bitch". She gave me a name. It wasn't a great name, but I can deal with it. Everytime she sees me... "Hey! Snow White!" She's gone. But never forgotten. I miss you, Yurika.

Oh, there's one more thing about one of the Retards in my class. She's short, dark, fat fingered and she's someone who has become really important in my life recently. I don't think i could ever do anything to hurt her, except for when she wants me to flick her. For some unknown reason, she likes it. And i think i might have fallen in love with her.

I don't think there's anything else to tell anyone.
Enjoy.

- Fat Toes.

P.S. Fat fingers, you owe me, last night doesn't count. Muahahaha.